I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
