But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
