Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
