i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
