Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
