could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
