I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
