it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
