the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
that is very illegal...i love you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
