we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
