i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
