i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
