I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is my gift to your gina
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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