Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
