at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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