somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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