he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
