I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
