I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
