he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
