STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
