New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
