dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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