Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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