Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
