I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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