I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
