I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize