happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
