ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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