Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
