TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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