Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
