I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
