hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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