Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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