Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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