I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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