Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
cat food counts as protein by the way
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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