The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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