It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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