i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
