so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize