I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
