idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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