Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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