dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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