She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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