Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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