Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
