i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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