A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
