If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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