Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
