never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
