thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
