I heard we made out
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
